By the numbers

As expected, blogging has taken a very far back seat to the goings-on in my life. It’s amazing how two little people can require so much work. I am sure mothers of one baby say the same.

Things have been going fairly smoothly so far mostly because I haven’t been alone. Mr. BKL had to return to work last week, and my Mom was fortunate enough to take two weeks off from her own job (and her life!) to come help us. I will be forever grateful. I also get to see just how lucky the babes are to have such an amazing Grandma in their life. She seems to love them as much as I do if that’s possible.

I thought I would write up a summation of my life the past 3 weeks with some numbers.

Pounds gained during pregnancy: 53 (7 of which came in the last week alone, a side effect of the pre-eclampsia)

Pounds lost by 12 days post partum: 40 (in other words, I had retained a LOT of water)

Pounds away from pre-pregnancy weight: 10

Beers consumed: Just enough to keep me sane and not enough to interfere with feeding. It’s a tricky balance.

Diapers changed in a day: 16+

Loads of baby laundry each day: 1-2

Doctors visits for the babies: 5

Feedings per 24 hours: 7-8

 

And now for some gratuitous baby photos….

 

Baby Girl

Baby Boy

Let me help you with that.

Oh Hai there. (Baby Girl)

    
Baby Boy

 
Baby Boy and Mom

 

 
No biting!

My first Mother's Day. Under eye bags included!

The Twins Birth Story

Note: For the sake of privacy, I am not going to mention our babies’ names for now. I will call them Baby Boy and Baby Girl, and as always, my husband is Mr. BKL.

When we left off, I posted my 36 week update. Things were hanging steady being on bed rest. The following week, at 36 weeks 6 days, I had my usual Thursday appointments. My blood pressure was up a little and I had gained 7 pounds in a week. Holy fluid retention! I was puffy, but that’s a lot of water. After some lab work, it turned out I had a mild case of pre-eclampsia. My doctor called me on Friday afternoon around 5:00pm to tell me the news and that I should head over to the hospital to be induced. ZOMG! Mr. BKL and I scurried about the house getting things ready, even though we had our bags packed it was still a shock. I took a shower and we headed to the hospital.

Upon admitting, they got me all hooked up to the bane of my existence, the fetal monitors. You have to wear one for the baby and one for contractions, so I had three. We got moved into our room and luckily had a large one. That evening they started a drug called cervidil to get my cervix ready. I didn’t sleep a wink that first night because of the contractions caused my the cervidil and it was fairly painful. (little did I know what was to come) Between the cervidil and the 3 monitors, getting up to use the restroom was a chore. I had to take the monitors with me and would often move one inadvertently and the nurse would have to come back and get them all working again. Uggh.

I was told we would start pitocin early in the morning. Well, early morning turned into 10:30am by the time the Dr. came to see me. So now, I had 3 fetal monitors and an IV tower to take with me into the bathroom. FUN. I have to give credit to Mr. BKL for helping me get unhooked, out of bed, and hooked in again.

Around 5:00 pm, the Dr. once more came in to check my progress and unfortunately not much had been made. He said we would break the membranes on Baby A to get things moving. And move they did, as well as continue to jack up my pitocin.  It only took about 15 minutes before I started feeling contractions come on. They got harder and faster by the second. My nurse said that I could get my epidural at any point and to give her 30 minutes to get it ready. I said I would try to tough it out a little longer because I wanted to make progress. Well, I think I made it to about 5:40 before I had to call her. I started feeling them in my back and they were coming almost every two minutes. She started getting things ready and called the anesthesiologist. Things got progressively worse for me and I was really having to focus and breathe through them. She would push on my back really hard to help with the back labor, but it really didn’t help. I was getting to the point where I was making noises I didn’t know I could make. I kept asking how much longer for the epidural, and she kept saying “soon”. The anesthesiologist was busy that night. (I never asked, but at one point I saw a screen that had all the active labors on it and I think there were about 10.)

By 7pm I was having keeping my breathing under control despite my best efforts. Contractions were coming every two minutes or faster and I was getting no break from them. In a moment of weakness, I accepted fentonyl. I didn’t want to take extra drugs that I didn’t have to for the babies sake, but I was having trouble keeping my breathing under control with the pain. (I was also mad at myself for not researching what it was before heading into my birth. So begins the mommy guilt…right?) It did help me relax some and took the edge off. This was key since each contraction I was having caused my legs to tremor uncontrollably, so I was nervous about holding still during the epidural.

Finally, by 7:30 the anesthesiologist appeared. I finally felt relief! I had no idea how crazy the contractions would be. I tip my hat to all women who do this whole thing without an epidural. I am pretty sure I would have passed out due to lack of oxygen if I would have kept going. The good news is that in those two hours, I went from 2cm dilated to 4cm dilated.

After the epidural, I tried to get comfortable because I have heard it can slow labor slightly. Well, the comfort didn’t last long before I started to feel intense pressure and an urge to push. The pain was numbed, but the pressure was very prominent. A little before 9, I told my nurse about this and she then deemed we were almost ready to start pushing. WHAT??? It had only been 4 hours of contracting. Okay then.

Since I was having twins, I would be delivering in the OR because of the increased risk of a c-section being necessary. We started pushing in our room first, then they wheeled me down to the OR. Mr. BKL donned some sweet scrubs, and we were off. We paused for one quick photo before we left.

The OR was bright, cold and full of people. I was placed into a new bed with large footrests, making me on display for all the world to see if you know what I mean. There were 8 people in the room. The funniest part was the resident following my Dr. who was very focused on what was going on. His face was one of serious study. Glad I could be an instrument of medical teaching, friend.

With lots of pushing and screams, Baby Girl arrived at 9:44pm weighing 5 pounds 4 ounces.  She was beautiful! She was a little pale and was below the minimum weight to not go into the Special Care Nursery (level 2 NICU), so she was whisked off. It was awful seeing her being taken away like that. I tried to relax knowing I had to do this all over again, and even said “I have to do this again?” out loud. Mr. BKL says the way I asked that was the best thing I said during the whole process.

The last few pushes getting her out were tough. My epidural was still working though, so I didn’t experience the pain that was to come. Knowing she was the smaller of the two babies, I was nervous about Baby Boy’s arrival. My contractions come to a near halt, and pitocin was once again increased. I started to feel the contractions more and more as time went on. It took a good hour and a 1/2 before I started pushing hard again, and by then, I was started to feel every contraction. Legs shaking about this whole time, mind you even though I wasn’t cold. Before we went down to the OR I had a fleeting thought…what if my babies are born on different days?

Around 11:30, the pain was starting to become intense and I was having trouble breathing through each contraction. In some confusion, the anesthesiologist was called down to give me a bolus to my epidural (a boost), but for some reason he came and went without giving me more. At this point, i was having trouble not screaming each time to push.  I worked so hard to get him out, but he started to get stuck. I got nervous when I saw everyone start scurrying around and asked “What is happening?” NO one answered, but I heard something about suction. The Dr. said we are going to have to assist to get him out. I was sad once again and felt like I was failing. I was feeling pressure, pain and burning, and worked so hard to get him out. Finally, with the suction he appeared. Baby boy was born at 12:02 am weighing 6 pounds 14 ounces. He was so gorgeous and pink, but was having trouble breathing. Most likely from getting stuck and possibly swallowing some fluid. He was also whisked away, and this time Mr. BKL followed to be with our babies.

The hard work was not over yet. Next came the placentas, then came the repair work. I was so sensitive and in pain, each time the Dr. touched me I writhed in pain. They once again offered fentynal, and since the babies were out, was happy to accept any and all drug.  Finally the anesthesiologist returned to give me that bolus. I was sort of glad Mr. BKL wasn’t there to witness the aftermath. I think I did more screaming than during delivery since I was feeling the pain. I had 4 small tears that were in good places, so I came out of the whole ordeal pretty unscathed.

The first thing I noticed while laying there was the absence of my belly. It literally disappeared. I could see my ribs again! Granted, I was laying down, but it felt great. (More to come on my post partum bod).

After over an hour of work on me, I was finally transferred to a different bed, clothed, and cleaned up. I was taken back to my room where I would get wheel chaired to the Special Care Nursery to finally hold my babies. I wept when I saw them. Not only because they were in incubators hooked up to IV’s and monitors, but because they were my babies. By the time I got there, they had already done amazingly better. Baby Girl was pink, and Baby Boy’s breathing had gotten under control. They had to spend their first two nights and days in the nursery, but they were in great hands. The nurses were as amazing as can be, between reassuring us and caring for the babies.

We finally got back to our room around 4 for some sleep. I of course slept very little as I was all hopped up on drugs and had just delivered two babies. I got to take a shower though, which was probably the greatest shower ever. I still had to be hooked up to pitocin, but was glad to be rid of the monitors finally.

The next day were were back at the nursery for the babies first feeding. Because they were small and in the nursery we were going to give them formula to get their strength up. They were also on dextrose IV’s, so they were doing well. We did some practicing latching and then fed.

The next two days were a whirlwind of nursery visits, recovering, and finally getting ready to head home. We got the okay to head home on Tuesday around noon. My pride was bursting when we walked through the halls of the hospital with them and seeing people’s reactions to my precious babies. Twins are obviously a fun sight to see.

Coming home was great, but it was a lot of work. We had so much to unpack and prepare for even though, once again, we were pretty ready for them to come home before leaving.

All smiles for Dad

As for the babies, they are definitely individuals. Baby Girl is feisty as ever. She is a better eater than her younger brother and is constantly kicking and flailing her arms about. She always has her legs tucked way up, deeming her the nickname “frogger”. Baby Boy is a little chubbier than his sister and is definitely more temperamental. His burps are something to be heard.

Frog legs

We are slowly adjusting to life at home with two newborns. Of course there is the tiredness of little sleep, but when I do sleep it’s very deep. We feed them both every 3 hours around the clock to continue to get their strength up and to grow. Baby Boy is a little jaundice still, and we are working on getting him less yellowed. Each feeding takes about an hour for me. We practice latching, then feed with bottles (some formula and now more and more milk from Mom!), then change them, then I pump. It’s daunting knowing you have about two hours between each feeding before having to start the whole thing all over again. I am so happy to be able to provide my milk for my babies. We will continue to work on nursing, but for now giving them bottles of my milk is an amazing feeling. With twins, I don’t expect to be able to provide for them solely, and I am okay with that. Any breast milk is better than none. I actually don’t mind pumping since I am such a numbers/goal oriented person, and seeing the increase each time plays to my competitive side. As for me, I am really happy to report my swelling from the pre-eclampsia and pitocin is finally subsiding. I can see my ankles for the first time in weeks! Unfortunately, I can also see a significant loss in muscle in my legs. It will be a lot of work to get back to running and lifting. It was all worth it though….

Baby Boy and Baby Girl checking things out.

In a week I have fallen in love with 3 people. My two babies and the new father of my children. I know it’s cliché, but I didn’t think I could love him more than I did. Obviously the babies go without saying.

Thank you all for all the outpouring of love and support during my pregnancy and now on the birth of our babies.

Hello there!

We are pleased to meet you. Mom will be back soon to post all about our arrival over the weekend.

 

36 week update

So here I am, still pregnant at 36 weeks and change with twins. I wasn’t sure I would make it this far. You just never know. There are so many complications that can arise. Fortunately for me, my pre-term labor scare was just that, a scare. I am so glad I took the proper precautions though. I am glad the babies stayed put and continued to develop.

Now? I am ready for them to arrive. I am so ready to not be pregnant anymore. Things hurt. Moving in any capacity is a challenge, and driving sucks. I do have some good news though, I am no longer on bed rest. Don’t be too happy for me though. All those things I mentioned above? Pretty much keep me from moving too far from home. Granted it’s not been a day yet. I am going to ease into daily walks (short ones!) and doing a few more things around home. Just because I am not on strict  bed rest doesn't mean I can go out and start training for my next 1/2 marathon. (Wouldn’t that be nice though?)

So, basically we wait for labor to start or, in less than 2 weeks we would schedule an induction or c-section. So, as far away as that seems, the end is in sight!

I took photos for this post but I just can’t bring myself to post them. I assure you I am big. Bigger than last time. Why I thought it was a good idea to take pictures first thing in the morning is beyond me. So for now, I am keeping them for myself to look back on in shock and awe. To be fair, I don’t think I look freaky huge. Yet. If this thing goes on for two more weeks, we might reach circus side show status.

As for the babies, a week ago they were estimated to be 4 pounds 13 ounces and 6 pounds 11 ounces. Our little boy is continuing to put on the lb’s! They are both within acceptable ranges and are simply different humans and are different sizes. I am hoping at this point baby girl is over 5 pounds. We won’t really know until they come out into the world, as ultrasound measurements can be off by quite a bit especially late in the game.

36 week stats:

Weeks along: 36 weeks and a few days
Weight gain: Still in the 40+ range. Hoping to stay under 50, but I don’t have much control over that anymore.
Symptoms: General uncomfortable-ness. Frequent trips to the bathroom at night. Not being able to sit upright.
Workout status: Zilch, but hoping to do a little walking as long as I have the energy.
Eats: I wasn’t doing any cooking the past few weeks, so I got what I was given. Luckily, my husband enjoys cooking and is good at it. I have way less room for food, though. I get full fast.
Cravings: None still.
Clothing: I am pretty much living in sweats and t-shirts these days. I have a handful of maternity t-shirts and tanks I wear on my big outings to the doctor. Otherwise I generally look pretty ridiculous.

Baby Watch - Week 2

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Welp, it's been 13 days on bed rest. Not that I am counting or anything.

Obviously, there isn't much to report in the way of blog fodder. I can't think of much else in life that would procure less interesting blog posts. Prison? Nah, even that would be more interesting.

My big excursion last week was to go to my doctors appointments. Fortunately, no news is good news. Our baby boy was estimated at 5 lb. 15 oz and our baby girl was estimated at 4 lb. 9 oz. They both grew since our last growth scan, which is the good news, and I am sort of amazed that I have over 10 pounds of baby growing in me. I would be having a rather large singleton me thinks.

I have had some visitors, care packages, and phone calls that lift my spirits. Another great thing about this week is that Mr. BKL is home on spring break. Wild times for him! Poor guy is on baby watch, not to mention having to take care of my lazy bum. He has been making dinner each night, cleaning, setting up baby gear, doing laundry, washing bottles....all the things I wish I could be doing. It's hard to sit and not help prepare all these things. I get a lot of people asking if we need anything (and thank you for that!), but honestly he is taking care of everything we need. Not unlike during "normal life" where we share household chores equally.

In other news, I can see my ankle bones and veins in my feet again. I never thought I would appreciate my bony feet as much as I do. I can't tell if my calves have already lost muscle or they look small because I was so used to being puffy. The vain part of me also wonders if I am actually losing muscle. It will be a long road back to my former fitness levels. I want to be strong and healthy and set a good example for my kids. In due time.

Got any good time wasters for me?

A week can change your world

This past week started like any other. I got home on Monday and since I was sporting a new maternity top and had a fresh 'do thanks to my sister in law, I had Mr. BKL take my photo for my belly progress series. I got changed and was about to head out on a walk, and saw I had missed a call from my Dad. To keep things succinct, he basically told me my Grandpa (mom's dad) was not doing well and was not expected to make it through the night. He hadn't been doing great in recent weeks, but this was still unexpected. I of course had a hard time hearing this news, but started praying and hoping for him to be in comfort. My parents did not want me driving to see him "in my condition" and at first it was hard to not drop everything to get there, but I eventually saw their reasoning.

The next morning my Mom said that he had passed over night. I immediately wished I could have been there to say goodbye, but had to let go. Fortunately work was busy and provided distraction. I had started my weekly appointments the week before and had a series of them on Thursday, but planned to go to the wake that afternoon and the funeral on Friday. The best laid plans...

At my appointment, we watched the babies via ultrasound in what is called a biophysical profile. The babies have to pass certain "tests". They both did great and we even saw baby girl has some hair on her head. I can't wait to see it. After that, I had a non-stress test. In this one, fetal monitors are hooked up to my belly to watch heart rates and movement as well as for contractions. Again, things went well. The babies did great. A few contractions were detected, but just the usual Braxton Hicks type I had been having hear and there for a while now. Finally, after all this, I saw my NP for the usual blood pressure, measuring, etc. I had asked her to make sure it was okay for me to travel the hour+ to the wake and funeral that day, and it wouldn't be a problem. She also did a cervical check. After how well things were going I almost didn't hear her say there was a lot of pressure from Baby A and I was effaced and had to go on bed rest immediately.

I am sure I turned white with terror and tears came to my eyes easily. It had been an emotional week already so, I was already on edge. I asked if I could still go to the funeral if I promised to sit...she said no, you have to lay down. She was comforting and consoling, but I was a bit of a mess. I tried to hold it together. I went straight home and once I got there let the tears really fly. I couldn't fathom missing my Grandpa's funeral and being with my family at such an important time. I worried about how to tell my Mom because of all she was dealing with and with what I know is constant worry about me and the babies. I worried about work - how is anyone possibly going to take over for me already? So much has to be done. I worried about money. I was upset at the prospect of losing my planned 12 weeks of leave with my babies by having to spend some of it on the couch alone instead of caring for them starting our journey as a family of four.

Once I had calmed down enough, I called my Mom. Of course, she was a pillar of strength and helped me by reassuring me that everything will be okay. Grandpa knows this is best and he is watching down on us now. As time went on that afternoon I did a lot of praying. My Dad always knows the right things to say. He told me that everything happens for a reason. The appointments I had that day were a sign that something was happening and we had to try to slow it down for the babies sake. It took me a while, but I am starting to see it now.

I think I was in denial that I hadn't been feeling great that day. I had more pressure than usual, more contractions and back pain than usual, was more nauseous and uncomfortable. I can't help but wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t had those appointments.

On Friday, I had a follow up test called a Fetal Fibronectin test. Fetal fibronectin attaches the amniotic sac to the uterus. If it's present near the cervix, it can indicate preterm labor is eminent 60% of the time. Not exactly a sure thing, but a positive test indicates again, that something is happening.

You know where this is going, right? Yep, my test was positive. I was also now 1 cm dilated. When I got the call back that my results were positive, I had to go back to get part one of a two course steroid shot intended to give the babies' lungs more maturity. It's often given any time pre-term labor has started before 34 weeks from my understanding. I was also given a prescription to help calm down contractions.
Once again, the emotions were overwhelming. I was suddenly scared that my babies could be arriving, and all too soon. I finally felt good on Saturday despite some trouble sleeping. I am hoping it's the shots and drugs that are waking me. My body is definitely responding to the rest it's finally getting. Part two of the shot was given on Saturday at the hospital. We also did another non-stress test and all was well with the babies' heart rates.

My spirits were lifted on Saturday as well as my parents came to visit as well as some amazing friends. They brought me the best care package ever. See if you can guess the theme:

My friends are awesome.

So, what next? Well, I lay around and do nothing which is mentally the hardest thing I've had to do. I would rather run a 1/2 marathon every day then be forced to lay around and not help around the house, cook, clean, earn money aka work, and generally prepare for our babies' arrival.

There is no real research that indicates bed rest slows down impending labor. A lot of doctors and health care professionals use it because it's really all that you can do and really, what can it hurt? Gravity can be your enemy sometimes. Of course I have thought about the petty things like how this will affect my own body and how much harder it will be to get my physical strength and endurance back. I was hopeful that my walking was giving me some cardio benefits. I try not to think too long on that though. Right now, my body is not mine and I have the rest of my life to get back into shape. It's sole purpose for the next few weeks is growing two babies.

I know that in time, everything that has happened this past week will seem like a small part of time in my life. I can never get back being able to say goodbye to my Grandpa, but I have a feeling he had something to do with what happened to me this week. I think he was looking out for us. And I know he is still watching over and will continue to watch over the whole family - in utero or not. I was lucky to have grown up close to my grandparents so we saw them often. They babysat us all the time. Grandpa pushed us on the swings, played ball with us, taught me how to play solitaire, built me beautiful toys with his woodworking skills including my beloved doll house, and he set an example of what being a true Christian means. My Grandparents were at almost every dance show (my early years...don't laugh), piano recital, and sporting event of mine growing up. Besides my parents, they were our biggest fans. My Grandpa loved sports. He hardly missed a Minnesota Twins game. He was a mechanic his whole life and loved cars. When he retired, he would transport cars between dealerships around the region. Him and my Grandma would often make day trips out of his drives. He loved being on the road. There is more I could say about what a great man my Grandpa was, but he touched so many lives and has a large family to be proud of.

I know this post is rather unorganized, but I guess my thoughts are also a bit scattered this week. I am sure I will have more musings on bed rest and the rest of this journey that is carrying and birthing twins as time goes on.